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the random muttering and spiritual journal of a sick man

16 September 1969
Basic demographics: 30-something single caucasian male, pool-player, computer programmer, once-and-future chill DJ (viz., recently come out of retirement); deeply interetsed in spirituality, soteriological hermeneutics (look it up), modern literature, strange music and strange people. Single is the only part of that I'm looking to change.

The "spiritual journal" part is behind an opt-in filter so only those who want it see it. This is in part because I din't feel like sharing that with the whole world, and in part because it can consume sometimes up to 6 posts in a day. If you want to be added to that filter, reply to this post where replies are screened. If I don't already know you, be sure to tell me a bit about yourself, why you want access, and why I should agree to let you have it.

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Thelemapedia, the open source encyclopedia of Thelema, magick, and mysticism.
I am also an editor at Wikipedia.

"Whoever we are/Wherever we're from
We shoulda noticed by now/Our behavior is dumb
And if our chances/Expect to improve,
It's gonna take a lot more/Than tryin' to remove
The other race/Or the other whatever
From the face/Of the planet altogether
The call it THE EARTH/Which is a dumb kinda name
But they named it right/'Cause we behave the same...
We are dumb all over"
-Frank Zappa. "Dumb All Over." You Are What You Is. Barking Pumpkin, 1981.

"Irony functions somewhere between the aesthetic and the moral. Born of dissatisfaction and coldly critical of any imperfection, it remains egotistical and does not invite consent in spite of its possible truthfulness. But humor reveals understanding. It has a warm, forgiving, and sympathetic note and reconciles us with weakness or sin, whereas irony remains haughty and critical. There is, then, in humor the suggestion of a religious conscience, a sense of tragedy combined with the comic, and a promise of hope or reconciliation. But it may also contain a note of lonliness and even pain; it is frequently beyond communication and born from suffering; it thus prepares the religious stage in life." -William Hubben. "Sören Kierkegaard." Dostoevsky, Kierkegaard, Nietzsche & Kafka. New York: Touchstone, 1997 (1952). p. 36.

"For Honour worthily obtain'd... is in its Nature a personal Thing, and incommunicable to any but those who had some Share in obtaining it.... Let the Distinction die with those who have merited it." -Benjamin Franklin to Sarah Bache, 26 Jan 1784. qtd. in Wood, Gordon S. The Americanization of Benjamin Franklin. New York: Penguin, 2004. p. 218.

"...disorder is the worst thing in small talents." -Franz Kafka. "26 Dec 1910." The Diaries of Franz Kafka: 1910-1913. Trans. Joseph Kresh. Ed. Max Brod. New York: Schocken, 1948. 345. Partial trans. of Tagebücher und Briefe [Journal and Letters]. Prague: Sohn, 1937.

"Spoken by a good actor—and every great preacher, every succesful advocate and politician is, among other things, a consummate actor—words can exercise an almost magical power over their hearers. Because of the essential irrationality of this power, even the best-intentioned of public speakers probably do more harm than good. When an orator, by the mere magic of words and a golden voice, persuades his audience of the rightness of a bad cause, we are very properly shocked. We ought to feel the same dismay whenever we find the same irrelevant tricks being used to persuade people of the rightness of a good cause. The belief engendered may be desirable, but the grounds for it are intrinsically wrong, and those who use the devices of oratory for instilling even right beliefs are guilty of pandering to the least creditable elements in human nature. By exercising their disastrous gift of the gab, they deepen the quasi-hypnotic trance in which most human beings live and from which it is the aim and purpose of all true philosophy, all genuinely spiritual religion to deliver them. Moreover, there cannot be effective oratory without oversimplification. But you cannot oversimplify without distorting the facts. Even when he is doing his best to tell the truth, the successful orator is ipso facto a liar. And most successful orators, it is hardly necessary to add, are not even trying to tell the truth; they are trying to evoke sympathy for their friends and antipathy for their opponents." -Aldous Huxley. The Devils of Loudun. New York: HarperCollins, 1992 [1952]. pp. 18-19.

"When people argue about politics, often what they say amounts to nothing more than unexamined prejudice shouted into a void of passionate misunderstanding." -Cary Tennis. "I Hate Being Wrong!" Since You Asked. San Francisco: Salon Media Group, 8 April 2005.

"It must first be remembered that no amount of reading or talking about these things is worth a single moment's practice of them. These are things to be 'done,' not speculated upon; and only he who practises can obtain the fruits of meditation." -Bikkhu Ananda Metteya. [Allan Bennett]. "The Training of the Mind." The Equinox. England: n.p., 1911. Vol. 1. No. 5. Ed. William Heidrick. electronic ed. Fairfax, CA: O.T.O., n.d. 59.

"Every act, therefore, with the thoughts and words which determine its performance, is a sacrament." -Liber Artemis Iota

Θελημα, 4ad bands, 80's music, 90's music, alison goldfrapp, annie haslam, aqal, bauhaus, being barefoot, being naked, billiards, bjork, bota, buckaroo banzai, buddhism, caffeine, catholicism, ceremonial magic, chthonic/auranian oto, comparative religion, computers, d&d, dancing, dark ambient, dark wave, dating, david deida, deity yoga, delerium, dharma, doctor who, douglas adams, dresden dolls, dungeons & dragons, dzogchen, eating out for dinner, edgar allan poe, ethereal, film, foreign film, franz kafka, goldfrapp, guinness, h.p. lovecraft, hard cider, hyperreal, industrial, industrial music, infp, intj, j.r.r. tolkien, jethro tull, john myrdhin reynolds, kafka, killing joke, king missile, kissing, lbrp, literary criticism, literature, lon milo duquette, lord of the rings, magick, making out, matthew barney, monty python, moorcock, movies, music, mysticism, nabokov, ne-raves, new york city, ngondro, non-duality, nyingma, nyingmapa, o.t.o., ordo templi orientis, oto, philadelphia, playing devil's advocate, punk cabaret, reading, relentless logic, rhythm society, ritual magick, robert heinlein, rpgs, science fiction, scotus, scrabble, sex, shakespeare, siouxsie, siouxsie and the banshees, siouxsie sioux, sisters of mercy, spirituality, stanley kubrick, supreme court, tangerine dream, tantra, tantrayana, tarot, tea, terry gilliam, the prisoner, the simpsons, the young ones, thelema, thelema lodge, thelemapedia, they eat their young, they might be giants, tolkien, tori amos, trance, true will, used book stores, vajranatha, vajrayana, viele eins, vladimir nabokov, vrave, ween, weirdness, western esoteric philosophy, women, zappa