Ikea, to the tune of "Norweigan Wood," by Brendan Beary, Great Mills.
These dressers and shelves,
Though they look nice,
Don't build themselves.
Packed flat in a box,
Tight as we could: Ikea wood.
Wordless instruction sheets may have you pulling your hair;
If you're not careful, your bookshelf may end up a chair.
You'll, when you are done,
Have a screw loose
More ways than one.
If something drove you
Crazy for good, Ikea would.
Borden (to "Something," by George Vary, Bethesda.
Something in the way she moos
Attracts me as an udder lover.
Something in the way she moos me.
I don't want to leave this cow,
You know I believe this cow . . .
I didn't think the winner was funny at all, so if you want to read that, go find it online.